Diamant Gerstein, LLCDiamant Gerstein, LLC2024-02-27T10:45:13Zhttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1603890/2021/06/cropped-favicon-32x32.pngOn Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=474972024-02-21T14:45:41Z2024-02-21T14:45:41ZPreparation is Key, Including Knowing your Financial Accounts
Divorcing a narcissistic spouse is typically high-conflict and overwhelming so it's important to mentally and legally-prepare.
Ending the marriage requires organization, strength, and a team of dependable, supportive individuals.
Strategies including enlisting a strong attorney and therapist, keeping rigorous records, and cutting off direct communication except as necessary to effectuate the transfer of children from one home to another.
The Signs of Narcissism
Because the ego of a narcissistic person is fragile and his or her self-esteem so heavily guarded, a narcissist's thoughts and therefore behaviors are armored, protecting them from their own self-loathing that is at the very core of their being. Many narcissists suffered emotional pain as children and cover for that pain in the way they attach to others.
How to Approach Divorce with a Narcissistic Partner
1. Please hire an attorney before approaching your spouse with the plan to divorce.
Important note: If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, do not remain under the same roof and do not wait to act. You can call 9-1-1 or seek a protective order in the State of Maryland. A protective order can protect both yourself and your minor child(ren).
2. Enlist a strong advocate as your attorney and, if possible, a mental health professional before you tell your partner of any plans to separate or divorce. Attempt to find an attorney who has experience working with adversarial spouses who suffer from or are affected by personality disorders. Speak with mental health professionals, friends, and family for referrals. Narcissists, for example, do not compromise easily, and you need to choose an attorney who will go the distance with you, and ideally, has experience working with someone who is controlling, and in many cases, simply irrational.
3. If you are being abused emotionally and/or physically, including being harassed via text or email, ask your attorney about filing temporary restraining orders including Orders of Protection that keep this abusive person away from you and your family.
4. Keep a record of everything. A narcissist will often lie, will likely want to litigate, and they won’t go down without a fight. It is best to be prepared and ready. Keeping copies of important documents as well as emails and texts that refer to specific incidents is very important. This information will be helpful later if you need to convince the court that your partner has been lying. Share this record of information with your attorney and therapist. Evidence and witnesses can be very helpful in proving a case.
5. Put everything in writing and consider using MyTalkingParents or MyFamilyWizard for communication.
Most of all, it is critical to remember to protect your emotional well-being and the emotional health of your children.
Breaking free of this marriage is going to take a lot of strength and organization. And you need to form a team of people that you can depend upon, including your friends, family, therapist, and attorney.
At Diamant Gerstein, LLC, we are sensitive to those going through divorce and are keenly-aware of the problems and complexities of divorcing a narcissist. Please call us today if we can be of assistance to you.
Sharon Diamant, Esq.
301-560-2685sharon@dgalawfirm.comwww.dgalawfirm.com.
Former Prosecutors. Experience. Results.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473922022-07-27T01:02:05Z2022-07-27T01:02:05ZWhat is held within the marital estate?
As a general rule, anything that is acquired during the marriage is considered to be a part of the marital estate. Marital assets might include a home or car that was purchased with joint funds, or money inside of a brokerage or retirement account. It's worth noting that an asset may be considered part of the marital estate even if only one name is on title documents. It's also worth mentioning that any appreciation in an asset that takes place during a marriage might be considered a joint asset in a divorce proceeding.
Be careful when it comes to commingling assets
Assets that begin as separate property may lose that status if they are used to acquire or maintain a joint item. For instance, if you deposit money from an inheritance into a joint bank account, the money will likely convert from a separate asset to marital property. The same is true if you used joint funds to maintain a home that you owned before getting married.
In a divorce settlement, you may be entitled to funds in a bank account, a family home or other joint assets. You may also be entitled to receive spousal support payments on a temporary or permanent basis.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473902022-07-14T20:11:25Z2022-07-12T20:10:16ZIRA funds are not protected by state or federal law
Maryland law generally makes pensions and other employer retirement plans exempt from garnishment. However, this is not the case with an IRA because it is not a qualified account. In fact, your retirement savings may not be safe from being garnished even if you file for bankruptcy.
What happens if you file for bankruptcy?
If you do decide to file for bankruptcy, up to $1,362,800 in IRA funds may be deemed off-limits to creditors per the federal Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act. However, since child support payments are considered a priority debt, this legislation may not apply in your case. It is important to consider that filing for protection from creditors may result in other debts being discharged. This might free up enough money to get current on your child support obligations without losing any property.
Missing a child support payment might result in a variety of negative consequences. These may include the loss of property, the loss of professional licenses or interest being added to the balance owed. If you are struggling to stay current on your child support obligations, it may be possible to ask a judge to reduce your future monthly payments.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473852022-06-28T02:08:09Z2022-06-28T02:08:09ZStarting the divorce process
After choosing to divorce, you'll need to gather financial information and determine what you own. Collecting information on your debts should also be done to determine what you owe. You'll also need documentation showing your income. Establishing your own credit by obtaining a credit card opened in your name only is another step you can take. Evaluating and protecting financial accounts can also be a critical action to take. Doing so helps ensure you can live comfortably after you separate.
Knowing how your retirement is handled during a divorce is essential
If you're facing divorce, it's critical to understand how your pension or retirement plan is handled. Most accounts and plans have specific procedures. These must be followed when retirement assets are being divided in a divorce.
Staying on top of paperwork
To ensure you keep the assets you've worked hard to receive, staying on top of all the paperwork when getting divorced is essential. Sending documents within specific time parameters can be vital.
Understanding all your options is critical
If a pension is being divided, it is important to ensure you are listed as a survivor or beneficiary to continue collecting benefits when a death occurs. Filling out the appropriate forms, signing them and keeping copies in a safe place is essential.
Getting divorced can include several factors. When retirement assets are involved, understanding how they are split is vital to ensure you get a fair deal when the divorce is finalized.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473742022-06-15T20:14:24Z2022-06-09T20:51:52ZWhat causes divorces for older couples?
Many reasons contribute to divorces for older couples.
Financial concerns, not surprisingly, often drive a wedge in a marriage. Worries about retirement years and nest egg savings can become more severe as people age. In the opposite scenario, one spouse worries about retirement savings while the other continues spending or putting retirement funds at risk.
"Empty nest" refers to changes in the household after children become adults and move away. When the children are gone, the spouses find themselves unable to live together and problems ensue.
Troubling problems can surface, such as verbal abuse or violence. Gambling, alcohol and other addiction issues might reach a point where the other spouse can no longer live in the situation.
Divorce can bring big disruptions
Regardless of the reasons for filing for divorce, both parties need to prepare for a new life.
Taking care of a household alone comes with many responsibilities, including financial ones. Hiring professionals, such as tax accountants, attorneys and insurance brokers, can be vital to establishing post-divorce normalcy.
Seeking an equitable distribution of assets and a reasonable amount of alimony can also help stabilize the transition.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473702022-06-09T02:55:58Z2022-06-09T02:55:58ZGet ready by assembling a file
When it comes to negotiating a divorce settlement, paperwork is one of the most important things that you can provide. When you meet with your divorce lawyer, you can bring a file with you that contains key financial documents, property records and other legal documentation. This will enable your attorney to move forward with your case more quickly and communicate more effectively with your spouse's lawyer.
Prepare your financial records
Financial documents are some of the most important for the divorce process. This includes documentation of your income, pay stubs and tax returns, as well as bank statements, investment and retirement account statements, pension plan documents and any records of your net worth. If you own property as a couple, real estate documents and deeds are important, even if one spouse holds the house as separate property. Insurance documents, such as life insurance policies, are also key to understanding the full financial picture of the marriage.
Of course, in addition to your assets, you should prepare documents about outstanding debts, such as credit card bills, mortgages and car loans. Business owners may have additional information to provide, including documentation about the business's founding, accounting records for the business and any assets or liabilities held by the business itself. With these documents on hand, your lawyer will be well-informed to move forward with the divorce process.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473662022-05-18T00:21:33Z2022-05-18T00:21:33ZUtilizing a parenting plan is essential
Going through a divorce can be painful. When children are involved, it can make the situation even more challenging. Knowing the responsibilities for housing each kid is the minimum plan that can be created when a co-parenting relationship is put in place. However, for the best interest of your children, it's an excellent idea to have a detailed and comprehensive parenting plan. Choosing this option provides a fantastic way to handle disagreements before they turn into a full-blown conflict.
Understanding the best way to create a comprehensive parenting plan can be helpful
If you communicate well with your ex-spouse, you may want to utilize the assistance of a professional when you create your parenting plan. Going this route allows you to receive guidance from an expert who regularly deals with these types of plans.
Elements that can be used in a parenting plan
One of the first factors in creating a comprehensive parenting plan is to provide a detailed schedule for each parent's duties. Examining your work schedule and the needs of your children is an excellent place to start. Knowing who they will live with during the week and who will watch after them when they aren't in school is important. Examining family traditions, birthdays, holidays and travel plans for each spouse is also critical. Discussing medical care, religious education, screen time and extracurricular activities can also be included.
Having a parenting plan in place when you get divorced can be vital. It can provide specific guidelines and a plan of action if any problems develop. Having one should help relieve conflict and make it easier to raise your children separately.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473622022-05-03T22:40:38Z2022-05-03T22:40:38Z1. Ruthless control over everything
Narcissists crave control; it’s the essence of their functionality. They will do whatever they can to manipulate the divorce process and make sure they are the ones calling the shots. Your narcissistic soon-to-be ex-spouse may try to drag out the process as long as possible or refuse to cooperate to gain an advantage.
2. If you have children, they will use them against you
The narcissist may try to turn the children against you or use them to manipulate you. You’ll notice this through their spirited fight to gain custody of your kids to have power over you.
3. They will try to destroy your reputation
Narcissists are master manipulators. They will do everything they can to paint you in a negative light and make you look like the bad guy. They may try to spread lies about you or slander your name to tarnish your family’s or friends’ reverence over you.
4. They can try to ruin your finances
Another common trait of narcissistic people is greed, selfishness, and disregard for the affairs of others. And so, by their very nature, a narcissist may target your finances to make divorce even harder for you. They may try to hide assets, rack up debt in your name, or even steal money from you outright.
When divorcing a narcissist, be proactive in protecting yourself from their ill traits and schemes. For example, gather all your important documents and keep them in a safe place, cancel all your jointly held accounts, and if you have kids, protect them, for they may not know they can be used as pawns in the divorce proceeding.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473582022-04-20T00:41:52Z2022-04-20T00:41:52ZParents' income
The court will require you to submit your recent tax returns documents, paycheck stubs or other documentation of current earnings to determine your net income when calculating child support payments. If you are unemployed or underemployed, the court will base child support on your earning capacity.
Overnight visits
In Maryland, there are a few different types of child custody arrangements that the court can order. They include joint legal custody, joint physical custody, sole legal custody and sole physical custody. The court will use the type of arrangement you get to determine how much you or the other parent should pay. Customarily, the more time a child spends with a particular parent, the less child support that parent will be required to pay.
The number of dependents a parent has
If you have many children with the person you are separating from, you'll pay more child support to take care of all their needs if you are the non-custodial parent. Alternatively, if you are paying child support for other children you've had with people other than your current spouse, the court will consider an amount that's fair for you but still caters to your children's needs.
Your child's needs
Maryland courts consider medical, educational and childcare expenses when computing child support. If a child has special needs, the non-custodial parent will likely be required to pay a greater percentage to cover the costs associated with those needs.
Generally, the amount the court will order a parent to pay for child support should cover the basic things that the child needs to survive. After coming up with a reasonable amount, the non-custodial parent must pay it monthly. Failure to pay can lead to imprisonment and other harsh penalties.]]>On Behalf of Diamant Gerstein, LLChttps://www.dgalawfirm.com/?p=473552022-04-14T20:34:47Z2022-04-14T20:34:47ZDivorce changes your standard of living
If you were the one paying most of the bills, you may notice that you have a little extra money at the end of the month if you've moved to a smaller space. However, this "extra" money may be necessary to pay attorney fees and other costs that come with ending a marriage. If you were the stay-at-home parent or didn't make as much as your spouse in the marriage, you will likely find that the monthly bills can be overwhelming. This may require you to take on another job, especially if you have primary custody of the children.
Household duties may change
After your divorce, you may have to take care of the children more often than you normally would. If you have joint custody, you may have to get used to dropping the kids off at school on your way to work or making sure dinner is on the table every night. This new way of parenting may mean that you'll have to make significant changes to your schedule and take on more tasks than you're used to now that your marriage has ended.
You'll need support
Your friends and family will likely be there to help you sort through your feelings during and after the divorce. But you'll also need support to maintain your new family dynamic. You may have to get used to letting your ex spend time with the kids without you or entertain the idea of dating again. Friends, family, therapists and clergy can all be sources of support at this time.]]>